Hope (Announcer) [00:00:16]:
Millions of women are walking into their doctor's offices every year only to be dismissed, misdiagnosed, or told that their midlife struggles are just a normal part of aging. But not anymore. Today on the debut of the all new Mr. Menopause show, you'll discover the five critical questions every woman must ask her doctor about menopause and what to do when the answers fall short. Plus, you'll have the chance to get your questions answered live by Mr. Menopause himself, Taeef Ahir, a licensed, certified and award winning menopause and healthy aging strategist. It's time to turn confusion into confidence and silence into self advocacy. And now, with real talk, real tools and a whole lot of heart, it's ta' fiq ahir, Mr.
Hope (Announcer) [00:01:00]:
Menopause.
Tafiq Akhir [00:01:05]:
Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the Mr. Menopause show on Bold Brave TV. I'm your host Tafeeka here. And listen, I've got some good stuff for you today, so I am just going to dive right into it. Now, have you ever been to your doctor for brain fog, exhaustion or sudden weight gain, only to be told that it's just aging to exercise more and eat healthy? Or maybe they've just handed you a prescription. Well, here's the thing though. Nearly 80% of OBGYNs in the US only get about no menopause training actually, or very little menopause training. And you know, this is why so many women in midlife are being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or just told to just deal with it.
Tafiq Akhir [00:01:51]:
But not anymore. See, on the all new Mr. Menopause show, I am dedicated to providing real, reliable support to help you manage menopause with confidence, clarity and ease. Now we are live across multiple platforms. And if you miss a future live, don't worry, you can always catch the replay on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and most major streaming platforms. Now, for this first episode, I'm going to share the five crucial questions you must ask your doctor about menopause and what to do if they can't give you the answers that you need. And why am I starting here? Well, not only because the conversation is way overdue, right? But menopause affects every woman. But for far too long, it's been treated like a mystery, ignored in medical school, dismissed in appointments and downplayed by society.
Tafiq Akhir [00:02:40]:
Well, that ends now. And it's extremely important to understand that this isn't just a hot flash here and there. This is about your health, your hormones, your heart, your bones, your brain, your relationships, your identity, your life. And you deserve A doctor who listens to you, not one who rushes you out the door or just blames everything on stress. You deserve answers based on real science, not outdated myths, dismissive attitudes, or someone's one size fits all experience. You deserve to feel healthy, vibrant, and in control of your body at every stage of life, not just when you're young and fertile. And this is important in a timely topic because millions of women are finally demanding better listen. Y' all are tired of suffering in silence, being dismissed and just told that it's part of getting older.
Tafiq Akhir [00:03:34]:
And look, the reality is, though, that most doctors aren't adequately trained to even recognize or support menopause. So asking the right questions and knowing how to advocate for yourself when those answers fall short, it's not just helpful, it's essential at this point. And you know, that's exactly what this episode is all about. Arming you with the tools to be heard or respected and supported so that your well being is not just an option. It's non negotiable. Right. Right. Now, before we dive in, I want to set the stage a bit about the Mr.
Tafiq Akhir [00:04:08]:
Menopause show itself. Right. So this show was born out of a mission. And that mission is to bring you clarity, confidence, and community while sharing the empowering side of menopause that women who may feel confused, anxious, or even afraid of menopause aren't even aware of. And let me also add that this mission is not just professional for me. It is deeply personal. I may not have menopause, obviously, but I've been on the front lines of it for nearly two decades, working with, listening to, and supporting thousands of women through every hot, flash, sleepless night, unexplained weight gain, every hormonal mood swing, and even that moment when you're like, what the hell is happening to my body? Right. Well, let me also add that if you've ever felt like menopause just came out of nowhere.
Tafiq Akhir [00:04:55]:
Right, Like a crazy Netflix plot twist. Right. Well, you're not alone. In fact, you know, a few years ago, I had a client. Her name was Leanne. Well, I'll call her Leanne for privacy reasons. Well, she was a powerhouse executive, sharp as attack, always on her game. Then suddenly, her confidence took a nosedive.
Tafiq Akhir [00:05:13]:
She couldn't remember where she left her car keys or why she even walked into a room. She was even contemplating reversing a promotion she had recently received. Her doctor told her it was just stress, but after completing a menopause readiness quiz, she actually learned what she needed to do in to confidently manage her menopause journey. So after getting the menopause education that was recommended, having lots of conversations and creating a personalized strategy, Leanne was able to turn things around. Not only did she learn that she was in perimenopause, she finally had a plan that worked. Now she's thriving in her new position. And she told me later, she said, tawfique, I thought I was losing my mind. Turns out I was just losing my estrogen.
Tafiq Akhir [00:05:58]:
Now that line, it just really stuck with me, right? Because it's real and it's raw and you know, it just really shows the power of knowledge and self advocacy and it's the reason why the Mr. Menopause show is so important, right? This is not just a talk show, it's a movement. And I am all about ensuring that women thrive through menopause and not just survive it. So here's what you can expect on the all new Mr. Menopause show. You are going to get straightforward education because that's always a top priority for me. I cut through the noise and confusion to bring you clear, science backed insights about menopause and healthy aging. No fluff, no fear tactics, and definitely no outdated advice that just makes you feel like you're broken.
Tafiq Akhir [00:06:44]:
Just real relevant information that you can actually use, whether it's understanding hormones, navigating symptoms or just learning how your body is evolving so that you can work regularly with it, not working against it. You're going to also hear from world class doctors, therapists, nutritionists, pelvic floor specialists, fitness pros, and even women. And you know what? Also a few brave men also who have lived it, survived it, and are now thriving through it. And these aren't going to be stiff clinical chats. These are going to be honest. Oh my gosh, I needed to hear that kind of conversation that deliver both wisdom and warmth. And you know, I want to be clear about this too. Menopause is not a death sentence for your sex life, your career or your happiness either.
Tafiq Akhir [00:07:30]:
So in each episode I am going to tackle the most common and often harmful myths head on with facts, fun, and even a little bit of humor from time to time. You know, it's time to break free from the silence, the shame and the outdated narratives. Because ladies, you're not fading away, you are simply evolving. And this is a natural process that every woman will experience. And this is why real talk is so important during every stage of menopause. And look, I'm not here to sugarcoat the tough stuff either. So whether it's the mental toll of brain fog, the relationship strain of lost libido, or the frustrating weight that won't budge no matter how many kale salads you eat right. Well, we're going to talk about it right here, candidly, honestly, and with compassion, and most importantly, with truth.
Tafiq Akhir [00:08:21]:
You're going to also get to hear from real women with real journeys and their real transformations. You'll meet women who hit rock bottom during menopause and then came out stronger on the other side. Women who found their voice, rebuilt their health, left toxic jobs, launched businesses, healed relationships, and even rediscovered their joy. And these are fairy tales. These are roadmaps to possibility. Because, you know, sometimes a well timed story is way more powerful than a prescription. And I will also share actionable tips. Every episode will include a practical takeaway that you can start using immediately.
Tafiq Akhir [00:08:59]:
Because let's be real, insight without action is just noise. So whether it's a simple breathing technique to cool a hot flash on the spot, a bedtime routine to finally sleep through the night, or the best foods to help balance your hormones and without flipping your entire world upside down, well, this show is where the magic happens. And it gets even better because I'm going to be answering your questions live in a segment called Ask Mr. Menopause, which is debuting later on in this episode. So you can think of this as your safe space to ask what's really on your mind. No judgment, no shame, and absolutely no such thing as a silly question. Anything from is this normal? To what can I actually do about it? Look, I'm here as a guide and ally to provide you with clarity, compassion, and truth. Because this show isn't about just talking at you, right? It's about helping you take action.
Tafiq Akhir [00:09:56]:
Not next year, not next month, not next week, but today. So by the time we wrap each episode, my goal is for you to walk away saying, okay, I can do that and you absolutely can. All right, so with that said, let's get into it. Now, I want you to picture this. You've been feeling exhausted for months, maybe even years at this point. Your brain feels foggy. You keep waking up drenched in sweat, your joints ache for no reason. And somehow, even though your diet hasn't changed, you're gaining weight around your midsection that just won't budge.
Tafiq Akhir [00:10:34]:
So you finally go to your doctor, someone that you have trusted for years, hoping for real answers. And what do they say? Oh, that's just part of aging. Or you just have to deal with it. Or maybe they've even said, here's an antidepressant Try this. It might work. Sound familiar, right? Well, if you're nodding yes right now, I want you to know first and foremost, you are not alone. And no, you're not crazy or losing your mind either. See, it's sad for me to say this, but 75% of women going through menopause do not receive proper, proper medical guidance from their doctors.
Tafiq Akhir [00:11:10]:
Did you know that in the US less than 20% of OB GYN residents receive any formal menopause training? In fact, a 2019 survey conducted by Mayo Clinic found that 58% of medical residents only received one lecture on menopause during their entire medical training, while 20% received no education on the topic at all. And here's a big one. Did you know the average woman spends over one third of her life in menopause, yet there is no mandatory menopause education for doctors yet. And still many of them give outdated, incorrect and ill informed advice. Things like just take an antidepressant or it'll pass, you just have to deal with it. When in fact there are several medical and non medical ways to offend, effectively manage menopause that have been researched, tested and proven to help with symptom management. But look, doctors can't provide the information or tools that they don't know or understand themselves. But let me ask you this.
Tafiq Akhir [00:12:15]:
Would you accept that kind of treatment if you had a broken bone? If you went to your doctor for high blood pressure and they said, oh, that's just part of getting older, would you accept that? Of course not. So why is it acceptable for women to suffer in menopause without real medical support? And you know, this isn't just happening to one or two women. This is happening everywhere, worldwide. In fact, you know, it's happening today. You know, shoot it. I remember it happening over 36 years ago to my mom, right? That was actually when I was first introduced to menopause. You know, my mom was a creative, confident and powerful woman. A singer, an activist, a playwright, community leader, a social worker for battered women and children.
Tafiq Akhir [00:13:04]:
She even helped to get laws passed and received a proclamation from President Clinton for her work in the field. But when menopause hit her, she was just left to struggle alone. I can remember her suffering from these debilitating hot flashes, uncontrollable weight gain, chronic headaches, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and osteoporosis, all before the age of 50. She went to doctors looking for answers and guess what they told her? Oh, that's just part of aging. Or you just have to deal with it or take this medication. So much medication. They didn't offer her real solutions or really take her seriously. They dismissed her and over medicated her.
Tafiq Akhir [00:13:43]:
Just like women are still being dismissed and over medicated today. Over 30 years after my mom. Back then they didn't have the resources, the knowledge or support like we do now. So she was left to suffer, feeling unheard and unseen. And you know, that is why I'm so passionate about this work. I became the advocate for women today that my mom never had back then. Because educating, empowering and ensuring that no woman has to feel like menopause is something that you just have to deal with. Well, I think that's something that every woman should know and understand.
Tafiq Akhir [00:14:16]:
So I made it my mission to equip women with the knowledge and tools to take back control of your own health, your own vitality and your own future. Because here's the thing, even with all the medical advancements today, too many women are still being dismissed and misdiagnosed. In fact, look at all the celebrities coming forward today telling their horror stories with their doctors, even with all of their resources. Halle Berry, Oprah, Drew Barrymore and Beth Behrs from 2 Broke Girls. When she was 38, she started experiencing perimenopause symptoms, right? She was exhausted, struggling with mood swings, had anxiety, just didn't feel like herself, went to her doctor, just like my mom, just like you, just like millions of other women hoping for answers. But she was told she was too young for perimenopause. They just dismissed her symptoms outright. She had to fight to be taken seriously and eventually had to find a menopause specialist just to get proper care.
Tafiq Akhir [00:15:16]:
And unfortunately, she's not alone, right? There are thousands of women just like Beth, just like you, just like my mom, misdiagnosed, dysfunctional, and sent home with no real answers. And it's unacceptable. And that's exactly why today's episode is so important. So grab a notebook to take some notes if you'd like. And if you have had a frustrating experience with a doctor regarding menopause, drop a comment and share your story. Because you never know. I may read it on air another time or provide a resource for you that may help. Now, we are coming up on a quick break, but don't go anywhere because when we come back, I'm going to be sharing the five crucial questions that you need to ask your doctor about menopause and why their answers can make or break your journey to feeling better, faster and in more control.
Tafiq Akhir [00:16:08]:
I'm Mr. Menopause Tafi Kakir. And you are watching the Mr. Menopause show on Bold Brave TV. Stay with me because it's time to take back your power in the doctor's office and you don't want to miss this right after this.
Hope (Announcer) [00:16:23]:
Next week on the Mr. Menopause Show, Taufik is diving into the good, the bad, and what they aren't telling you about GLP1, weight loss, drugs and menopause. From hidden side effects to how they may affect your hormones and long term health. Plus, he's shedding light on something almost no one is talking about. How menopause can change your voice and why it matters more than you think. If you've noticed changes in how you sound or feel when you speak, this segment is for you. You won't want to miss this double feature episode. Find the Mr.
Hope (Announcer) [00:16:54]:
Menopause show on Bold Brave TV. Streaming on Roku, Amazon Fire, Spotify, iHeart, YouTube Live, Facebook Live, and more.
Tafiq Akhir [00:17:06]:
Welcome back to the Mr. Menopause Show On Bold Brave TV. I'm your host, Tawika Kir. And now it's time to dive into something that could truly change the way you advocate for your health. And look for this next segment, I am going into full on teacher mode. So please grab a notepad, get comfy, and let's take this one step at a time. Now, what I'm about to teach you can absolutely change how you experience menopause care and possibly even change your doctor if that's what's truly needed for you to get the support you need. Now, let's be honest though.
Tafiq Akhir [00:17:42]:
Most of you or all of us really were raised to respect our doctors, to take their word as gospel, and to never question their authority. But when it comes to menopause, that mindset can leave you struggling in silence. And here's the truth. Less than 20% of medical schools in the US offer menopause specific training. And that means that your doctor might know how to treat high blood pressure, but not hot flashes. They might be experts at managing diabetes, but completely unaware of how menopause affects your body, brain, bones, mood or metabolism. See, when you ask this first question, which is what kind of menopause training do you have? You're not being difficult or adversarial. You are being responsible.
Tafiq Akhir [00:18:27]:
You are advocating for your body, your health and your future. See, for a long time, my client Deanna, she felt dismissed and uninformed when it came to her symptoms. And like many women, her doctor wasn't giving her real guidance about what she was experiencing or even what her options were. But after completing a simple menopause education program, she gained the confidence to have an informed conversation with her doctor about hormone replacement therapy, something she had never felt confident, comfortable, or even equipped to do before. Now, here's what she actually shared with me in an email later. She said, thank you for your guidance and education. It gave me the confidence to talk to my doctor about hrt. After two months on estrogen progesterone, I no longer have hot flashes, and I finally sleep through the night.
Tafiq Akhir [00:19:16]:
I'm also exploring holistic alternatives for my other symptoms, but I feel so much better overall. See, that's the power of knowledge. That's the power of advocating for yourself. And that's what happens when you stop feeling dismissed and you start feeling equipped. See, Deanna's story is proof that it's never too late to take back control of your menopause journey and to speak, speak up for your needs. And now that you've checked your doctor's menopause training, well, it's time to see if their advice actually fits your body and your needs. So let's move into question number two, which is, what are the best ways to manage my symptoms based on my medical history? Now, this is a game changer, because now that you've asked your doctor about their menopause training, well, of course it's time to dig into something that's even more important, which is, of course, you right, Your body, your symptoms, your health history, your lived experience. Because menopause is not, and I repeat, is not a one size fits all.
Tafiq Akhir [00:20:22]:
And if your doctor is handing out the same advice to Every woman over 40, that's not support. That is shortcut medicine. And too many women are being told things like just eat healthy and exercise or the two that are so frustrating, I hear from clients is it's just part of aging or you'll get through through it. That kind of generic advice, it sounds harmless, but it can lead to years of unnecessary suffering in silence because it ignores the bigger picture of who you are and what your body has already been through and what it's going through. You know, I read a story in Business Insider about a registered nurse. I think her name was Tammy. She had 30 years of medical experience, and at 46, she started experiencing escalating anxiety, irregular periods, sleep problems, and a complete loss of confidence. Even as a nurse, someone trained to assess health symptoms, she couldn't get the right answers and didn't even know what to look for herself.
Tafiq Akhir [00:21:21]:
And that's about education. Right. For two years, doctor after doctor misdiagnosed her with depression. And it wasn't until she finally came across a menopause informed provider that she was correctly diagnosed and finally got the survival support she needed. And why did it take so long though? Because no one stopped to ask the right questions. No one looked beyond the symptoms to understand the context. And that's what leads us to the heart of what this question really is. Which is, are you being treated like a symptom or a list of symptoms or a whole person? Right.
Tafiq Akhir [00:21:55]:
A doctor who is serious about managing your menopause symptoms effectively should be looking at all the factors that influence your health and not just handing you a brochure and basic information. So let's break down what they should be addressing now. First and foremost, they should start with your full health history. That includes previous surgeries, autoimmune conditions, reproductive history and family history. Of course, because all of this influences what treatments are safe and effective for you. Also your past hormone sensitivity. Have you used hormonal birth control in the past? How'd your body respond to it? Did you have trouble with cycles with pcos, endometriosis or even fertility treatments? These are critical factors in selecting a menopause management plan. Then there's your mental health background.
Tafiq Akhir [00:22:48]:
See, menopause can exacerbate anxiety, depression and mood swings. So if your provider isn't considering your emotional and psychological well being, well, they are giving you only half of the picture. Equally important sleep quality, right? Sleep is a cornerstone of hormone balance, brain function and emotional health. So if they're not asking about your sleep patterns, how often you wake up, how long it takes to fall asleep, or what's interrupting your rest, Again, they are missing an opportunity to treat the root cause. And then there's the ever important nutrition, stress and lifestyle, right? Are they asking about your eating patterns, your stress load, physical activity and recovery time? Again, these factors affect everything from insulin sensitivity to cortisol levels, which can actually throw your entire hormonal rhythm off. And then of course, medications and supplements, right? If they're not doing a full inventory of what you're currently taking, they could prescribe something that interacts negatively or over overlook a supplement that might already be helping. You. See, this is why the question isn't just what can I do for my hot flashes, right? It's what should I do for my body, my symptoms, my history and my life? Because real menopause care is not about managing symptoms in isolation.
Tafiq Akhir [00:24:18]:
It's about designing a strategy that supports the Whole woman, physically, emotionally, functionally. Now, once you've confirmed that your doctor understands the full picture of your health, the next step is making sure that the treatment they offer is grounded in evidence and not outdated fear or guesswork. And this leads to the next question, which is can you explain the risks and benefits of HRT and non hormonal treatment? So now you've asked them to talk about their personalized how their their training, everything else, and how they personalize a plan for you. And of course, making sure that they understand the things. Well, now it's time to get into one of the most misunderstood areas of this entire journey, right? And that is treatment options. And no topic brings more confusion, outdated fear or misinformation than HRT or hormone replacement therapy. For decades, women have been warned about the risks of hrt, often without context, current data or consideration of your unique needs. Meanwhile, non hormonal alternatives are rarely even explained with the same depth either.
Tafiq Akhir [00:25:31]:
And that's why this question is so important. Can you explain the risks and benefits of both hormonal and non hormonal treatment options? Not just whether they exist, not just what the headline said 20 years ago, but a real nuanced conversation. Now here's the truth. In 2002, the Women's Health Initiative study scared millions of women away from HRT overnight. But what rarely gets mentioned is that the study had major limitations. It included older women already at risk. Information was leaked before the study was even concluded and it was later re evaluated by experts worldwide. In fact, newer studies show that HRT can be highly beneficial when started within 10 years of menopause onset, especially for symptom relief, bone protection and even long term brain and heart health.
Tafiq Akhir [00:26:23]:
But very few providers take the time to explain this and why because many haven't kept up with the research themselves or they're still practicing from a place of liability and not empowerment. Then on the flip side, some doctors may avoid HRT altogether and recommend only non hormonal options, but without giving those treatments the respect they deserve either. So the goal here is for you to get a well informed provider that offers balanced care with knowledge and clarity. You have the right to understand what's available, how each of those available options work, and how it might affect your unique body based on your risk factors, your preferences and goals. For example, HRT may be highly effective for someone with hot flashes, night sweats or vaginal dryness with no history of breast cancer, while a non hormonal option like low dose SSRIs or SNRIs may be More appropriate for someone with a history of hormone sensitive conditions, cognitive behavioral therapy, nutrition, exercise and stress management. Well, they can all support symptom relief regardless of the route you choose. A well informed doctor should be able to walk you through all of this, not just hand you a prescription and dismiss your interest in HRT altogether. You want a provider who can answer, what are the real risks? What are the potential benefits? And how will this affect me? Specifically, because menopause shouldn't feel like gambling.
Tafiq Akhir [00:27:55]:
It should feel like you're making an empowered, educated decision about your body and your overall health. So now that you've opened the door to real treatment, conversations with your doctor, now it's time to look ahead. Menopause doesn't just affect today, it impacts your future health too. And that leads to the next question. How can we protect my bone, heart and brain health during menopause? Now, this question is another big one. Because while conversations about menopause usually stop at hot flashes and mood swings, the real risk lies in what's happening beneath the surface. See, menopause marks a major shift in your body's internal chemistry. When estrogen levels drop, your bones become more fragile, your heart is more susceptible and vulnerable, and your brain is more susceptible to decline.
Tafiq Akhir [00:28:46]:
And yet, most doctors don't even mention it. And that's why this question is crucial. You're not just asking about relief for today, you are asking about protection for tomorrow. Now, let's start with your bones. After menopause, you can lose up to 20% of your bone density in the first five to seven years. That's how fast things change. Osteoporosis becomes a real risk, especially if you're not doing regular weight bearing, exercise, getting enough calcium, or even checking your vitamin D levels. Next, your heart.
Tafiq Akhir [00:29:18]:
Estrogen plays a major role in keeping your blood vessels flexible and your cholesterol levels balanced. Without it, your risk of cardiovascular disease rises significantly. Especially if you've already got high blood pressure, diabetes, or a family history of heart issues. And let's not forget your brain. Cognitive changes, brain fog, memory lapses. Well, these aren't just annoying. They can be early warning signs of hormonal impact on your brain structure and function. Because estrogen is deeply involved in protecting cognitive health.
Tafiq Akhir [00:29:54]:
So what's the plan now, doc, that is decreasing? So when you ask your doctor, how can we protect my bone, heart and brain health during menopause? You're taking the conversation out of the exam room check checklist and into whole body wellness. See, you're asking for a bone density scan not just a vitamin recommendation, a full cholesterol panel. Not just everything looks fine. A cognitive health discussion. Not just you're probably tired. You are advocating for long term vitality and that deserves serious answers. And that then brings us to the final question. And it's all about the big picture, right? Because while symptom relief is crucial, what you really need is a roadmap.
Tafiq Akhir [00:30:40]:
And that lands us on the fifth and final question, which is can we create a long term plan for my menopause journey? This question, it brings everything full circle, right? You've asked about your doctor's training, explored how they tailor care that for you. You've investigated treatments and addressed long term health. Well, now comes the most powerful ask of all, right? Can we create a long term plan for my menopause journey? Not just what do I do today, but how will I be supported through every stage, physically, emotionally, mentally and practically. See, too many providers treat menopause like a six month inconvenience instead of the decades long life stage. It really is. And here's what that leads to. You get women getting short term fixes without long term support, bouncing between specialists with no unified care plan, feeling alone, confused and constantly playing catch up with their own health. But when a doctor is willing to partner with you for the long haul, well, that changes everything.
Tafiq Akhir [00:31:48]:
Because long term menopause plan might include regular check ins and symptom reviews, adjusting treatments over time as your needs evolve. And they will evolve. Monitoring hormone levels, bone density, mental health and more. And then clear communication about what's normal, what's not and what comes next. Most importantly though, it should feel collaborative and not dismissive. You should leave that appointment feeling like you have a partner, not just a prescriber. Menopause isn't just a phase, it's a portal into the next chapter of your life. And that chapter deserves to be written with intention, with support and most importantly, with empowerment.
Tafiq Akhir [00:32:32]:
And now that we've covered those five critical questions that every woman should be asking your doctor about menopause, after this short break, I'm going to share exactly what to do if your doctor can't answer those questions. Or worse, if they dismiss you for asking in the first place. Place. Because knowledge is power, but action, it's everything. And I've got you covered again. I'm Tavika Kir, your host of the Mr. Menopause show, broadcasting on Bold Brave TV. And if you're ready to get real answers, to reclaim your voice and to know exactly how to respond when the care that you need isn't being given.
Tafiq Akhir [00:33:09]:
Well, meet me back here after this. Sam, welcome back. I'm your host, Tafika Kir, host of the Mr. Menopause show, broadcasting on bold, brave TV. And now I am sharing something that hits home for so many women in midlife. What to do if your doctor can't or won't answer your questions about menopause? Now suppose you follow what I shared earlier. You've asked the five questions, you showed up informed, and you've advocated for your needs. But your doctor couldn't or wouldn't give you real answers.
Tafiq Akhir [00:34:19]:
Maybe they brushed you off, maybe they made you feel dramatic, or maybe they just flat out said that's not really my area of expertise. And now you're wondering, well, what do I do with that? Well, first of all, you're not wrong for wanting better answers. What you are going through is shared by millions of women and it deserves to be taken seriously. Dismissive care is not acceptable. Period. And if your provider isn't equipped to support you, well, you should know that's not a reflection on you. It's a reflection on their limits and their limitations. So please don't carry their lack of education as your burden.
Tafiq Akhir [00:34:58]:
In fact, this is where your knowledge becomes action. So if you've been dismissed, deflected or denied, now while that might feel like a full stop, it's actually your cue to pivot and you don't have to shout to be heard. What you need is strategy, and I'm about to give it to you. Step one Document your visit. Write down what you asked, what they said, what they didn't say. This helps you track your progress and it gives you clarity when deciding whether to continue with that provider. And why this matters is that when emotions run high, you feel overwhelmed in the conversation and it's easy to forget the details. A written record helps you spot patterns, recalls key points, and gives you language for follow up conversations or proof when it's time to move on.
Tafiq Akhir [00:35:46]:
In fact, a woman I worked with kept a doctor journal in her notes app on her phone. After just three visits with the same vague answers, she read back through her notes and realized her doctor hadn't addressed a single concern. That realization gave her the courage to find a new provider. See, documentation isn't just self care, it's strategy in legal and medical spaces. If it's not documented, it didn't happen. So your notes create a timeline of care which becomes powerful evidence for second opinions, insurance claims and referrals. Also, write down how you felt after the appointment so if you felt confused, dismissed, or anxious, well, that matters just as much as clinical advice. Your emotional response is a diagnostic tool as well as Step two Ask for a Referral if your doctor admits that menopause isn't their area of expertise, that's okay, but they should be able to point you towards someone who does specialize in it.
Tafiq Akhir [00:36:45]:
If they can't or won't, that's another possible cue to move on. Why this matters is that a referral isn't a confrontation, it's a direction. It shows that you're serious about getting real support. Another client of mine caught a provider off guard when she asked for a menopause referral because it forced him to pause and then admit that he hadn't updated his menopause training in over a decade. The good news is that he did refer her to a specialist, which was me, and I was able to help her feel seen and get the support that she needed. Now, another thing that you should know, though, is that referrals don't have to be limited to your doctor's immediate network. You can ask for a referral to a certified menopause nurse practitioner, certified menopause specialist, and endocrinologist with hormonal training, or even a pelvic floor specialist if symptoms are impacting either intimacy or even bladder function. And don't be afraid to say I'd like someone who is menopause illiterate or someone who is certified through the Menopause Society because that one sentence communicates that you're educated, you're empowered, and that you are not here for half answers.
Tafiq Akhir [00:37:58]:
Step 3 Search smarter now ladies, do not rely on a blind Google search. I beg of you, please do not rely on a blind Google search. There is so much misinformation out there. People giving their anecdotal experiences and those things and your individual menopause needs are just that. They're individual. I recommend going to the Menopause Society because they have a searchable directory of certified menopause practitioners across the U.S. they also have videos and tutorials. Also, for members of my Menopause Made Simple Experience, I offer the Mr.
Tafiq Akhir [00:38:39]:
Menopause approved resources list and then includes providers who have completed my certification program as well as providers who are certified champions through the Menopause Experts Group. And why this matters is that not all doctors are created equal when it comes to menopause. You wouldn't go see a dentist for knee pain, so you shouldn't trust hormone health with someone who hasn't studied it either. So finding A trained, certified expert isn't just a luxury anymore. It's the foundation of effective menopause care. Now, quick tip here, though, that when you're searching for providers, look at their bios, not just their specialty. Look for things like experience with midlife and aging or HRT and alternative therapy support. And look for patient reviews that mention listening and compassion.
Tafiq Akhir [00:39:30]:
And while you're at it, Google their name + Menopause podcast or + webinar, because if they've been educating on the topic publicly, that's usually a good sign they're tuned in as well. And then step four is super important. Don't give up your health, your peace, your quality of life. They're all worth the time, energy and effort. And why this matters is that I've seen firsthand women who tell me they gave up after one bad appointment. I've also had women come to me after five providers, more confused than ever, but still determined. And guess what? Those are the ones who find the care they need because they didn't stop. And that is the difference.
Tafiq Akhir [00:40:12]:
That's the power right there. The system may not be built for you, but your persistence can build a better experience for you. So keep going. You are not alone. You are not too much. You are just getting started. And you know when you're searching. I want you to also keep in mind you are allowed to assemble your own team of care.
Tafiq Akhir [00:40:34]:
You know, your menopause journey might involve a search certified menopause educator like myself, a therapist who understands midlife identity shifts, a dietitian who knows how hormones affect metabolism, or a pelvic floor, pt, acupuncturist, or health coach. You don't have to find everything in one person. You get to be the director of your own menopause and wellness team. And if you're not sure where to begin, well, I invite you to start with my menopause readiness quiz. It's quick, it's free, and it's an insightful tool to help you identify your understanding and awareness, what symptoms you may be overlooking. And also, if there's support that I can actually provide to you, those options will be shared as well. Now, it's not a test, it's a tool. So think of it as like your roadmap to clarity and confidence with regard to menopause.
Tafiq Akhir [00:41:28]:
And if not with me again, the Menopause Society or the Menopause Experts Group also provides sound, reputable menopause resources and support. Now, let me say this loud and clear. You are not broken. You are not crazy. You are not too much. You are powerful, you are intuitive and you are worthy of care that listens, honors and helps you. Dismissal is not the end of your story. It's the beginning of your strategy.
Tafiq Akhir [00:41:58]:
So if your doctor can't or won't meet you where you are, well, guess what? Now you know exactly what to do. Because this journey, it is yours to own. And guess what? The Mr. Menopause show is here to walk alongside you every step of the way. Now please remember, knowledge is power, but action is everything. Again, I'm your host, Tafeeaka Kir. This is the Mr. Menopause show on Bold Brave TV.
Tafiq Akhir [00:42:27]:
And coming up after this last break is Ask Mr. Menopause. I'm going to answer your questions live and share some of the most frequently asked questions I hear all the time. So don't go far.
Hope (Announcer) [00:42:41]:
Do you feel confused, anxious or overwhelmed by menopause? If the answer is yes, don't let menopause hold you back another moment. Take the first step in controlling your long term vitality with Mr. Menopause's complementary menopause Readiness Quiz. Tafiq Akhir, widely known as Mr. Menopause, is a licensed, certified and award winning menopause strategist and the go to source for reliable menopause support. He knows that our level of menopause awareness will determine whether we thrive through menopause or barely survive it. Go to Menopauseredinessquiz.com to simply answer 20 quick questions to receive personalized insights about your level of menopause awareness and get the tools to confidently take control of your menopause journey and improve your overall quality of life. Complete the menopause readiness Quiz today.
Tafiq Akhir [00:43:32]:
Welcome Back to the Mr. Menopause Show. I'm your host again, Tawfiq Akir and we are streaming live on Bold Prave TV. Now this final segment is called Ask Mr. Menopause. Now if you have any questions that you'd like to ask me, the number number is on the screen. Please give me a shout. I would love to help you if you have any questions at this time.
Tafiq Akhir [00:43:53]:
But now look, in the meantime though, you know there, there are tons of questions that I get asked all the time. So some of the most frequently asked questions may be something that you might be wanting to hear anyway. So I'm going to dive into some of the questions that I get asked by women just like you who are navigating their menopause journey. Now first question is why do I feel out of control of my emotions? Well, mood swings, well, it's not just in your head, right. Estrogen and progesterone, well, they actually can impact your brain's ability to regulate your mood. And that is why you may go from crying one minute to happy in 60 seconds. Right. You're not overacting, you're just responding to real hormonal shifts.
Tafiq Akhir [00:44:40]:
But the good news is there are solutions, right? Nutrition, sleep, movement, stress relief, and sometimes hormone therapy can balance things out. Now, oftentimes I tell people about sleep and nutrition and stress management and they kind of think this is kind of woo woo kind of. And so people think, oh, well, I don't think that's for me. Well, it could be for you. Right. So it's just about trying, trying it out and finding what works best for you. And another question that I get asked is, can menopause really affect, affect my memory and absolutely. Right.
Tafiq Akhir [00:45:14]:
Brain fog is real and it's also hormonal. Yes, the frustrating word on the tip of your tongue feeling, well, that's hormonal too. When you're going through menopause, estrogen supports neurotransmitters and cognition. A drop in estrogen can create forgetfulness, fog and mental fatigue. The right combination of rest support and brain friendly foods can actually make a big difference. Now let me just check to see if I have any questions that have come in. Nothing as of yet. So I'm going to keep diving into some of the frequently asked questions that I get.
Tafiq Akhir [00:45:49]:
And one is, is weight gain during menopause inevitable? Well, here you go. Weight changes. Let's talk to here, let's talk metabolism. Well, it's not inevitable during menopause, but it is very common because metabolic changes can happen during menopause. Your insulin sensitivity may decrease and your inflammation may increase. And those are things that can impact your weight gain. Right. But you're not stuck.
Tafiq Akhir [00:46:18]:
Right? Strategic strength training, stress reduction and stabilizing your blood sugar through food can actually help your body to shift into a healthier rhythm and to shed more excess body fat and burn those things off. Next question I have that is frequently asked is about hrt. Do I have to take HRT to feel better? Well, again, it goes back to what is right for you. So you may not be eligible for HRT or you may not want to take our hrt. And as I stated earlier, through the training, there are a number of different alternatives that you can do. You know, a lot of people feel great doing holistic changes and non hormonal therapies. The key is to find what works for Your body. Don't let fear or a one size fits all thinking mentality limit your options because there are tons of options out there to help.
Tafiq Akhir [00:47:15]:
It's just about finding what is going to work the very best for you. Another question that I have is regarding sleep. Right. I'm sorry, regarding night sweats. Right. So why am I waking up drenched in sweat? So night sweats, now those are the overlooked heat waves that happen at nighttime, right. You can think of it kind of like a nighttime hot flash, if you will. Right.
Tafiq Akhir [00:47:43]:
So what happens is that your, your hypothalamus, which is what is in control. Right. Of your body temperature. Well, it struggles through menopause due to hormonal shifts. And this disruptive disruption can be exacerbated, exhausting. So you can think of different things that you can do though to help with minimizing it. So again, it's going to be about getting the solutions like the stress management, hormone replacement therapy, if that works for you. If hormone replacement therapy isn't good for you, a low dose SSNRI or SSRI may be a better thing for you.
Tafiq Akhir [00:48:16]:
Again, these are things you want to talk to your doctor about using those five questions I shared earlier to make sure that you're getting accurate information. But physical things you can do is things like layering your clothing, having a cooler room temperatures, of course, like I said, stress relief and yes, of course hrt because these can all help to reduce or even eliminate your symptoms. All together. Right? Questions? Let me check, check, check. Right. Still no live questions. I'm hoping that I just answered everything really great and that you guys have no questions. So next question that I have, that is one the of my frequent asked questions is how do I explain this to my partner? Now this is a big one because menopause is not just a woman's health issue.
Tafiq Akhir [00:49:04]:
Is it a relationship issue as well? And I always say first start with honesty and resources. You know, let them know that it's not just a mood swing. Right. That it's your body and that your brain and body are changing because of the hormones. Encourage them to listen, read, or even watch this show show with you so they can learn. See, men who are willing to learn are actually more likely to be allies in this journey. So this idea of men don't care or I can't talk to my husband about this, that should be, you should just kick that out the door. Most husbands want to be supportive, loving and caring for their wives and don't want them to, to be suffering.
Tafiq Akhir [00:49:45]:
I can't Tell you how many men reach out to me, asking me, saying they don't know what to do do because their wife isn't talking to them, they think it's menopause, or she says it's menopause, but she doesn't want to talk about it. Even in one of my programs, I had some women when we were talking about the sex issue, like a lot of. A lot of men don't understand that when you're going through menopause, the vaginal dryness, the pain down there, that it can cause pain during intercourse. So not sharing that with your husband, that is painful, that's not beneficial. I often say to my clients, you've had babies with this man. What do you mean? You can't tell him that it's painful when he has sex with you. Open up to him. I promise you, if you know your husband better than anyone, if he's a loving and caring man, he is going to want to know what he can do and how he can do it to help you to feel better.
Tafiq Akhir [00:50:32]:
Also, I also have a workshop that is coming up later this summer that is called Menopause 101, what every man Needs to Know About Menopause. So this would be great if you're someone who has a husband that is struggling to understand or that you just maybe don't know what you can say to your husband to make them understand. All right, I have one more frequently asked question that I have, and that is, where did my libido go? Right. Well, sex and menopause. Well, let's normalize this. Right? Hormonal shifts can actually lower your desire and can cause that dryness and discomfort that I mentioned, but also disconnect. But here's the thing, ladies. It is treatable.
Tafiq Akhir [00:51:13]:
So whether you go through the. The route of using vaginal estrogen, there's lifestyle changes or simply relearning what brings you pleasure, you can rebuild and connect. But again, the most important thing is having these conversations with your partner and your doctor as well. You may want to have your doctor in the conversation, your husband. I'm sorry. Or your partner in the conversation with your doctor. And if it is related to vaginal issues that are preventing you from being to able to experience intimacy with your partner in a meaningful and loving way if it's painful or that you just don't enjoy it at this time. Again, like I said earlier, knowledge is power.
Tafiq Akhir [00:51:54]:
Right? But action is everything. Knowing something and doing something about it. Right? So you're getting tools here that you can share with your other half and if you don't want to do it together, send them over here by himself. There's nothing that I'm sharing on this show that men can't learn and understand so that they can be better allies and support to the women that they love and care about. So I'm going to look one more quick time to see if we have any questions and does not look like we do. So. All right, so listen, this wraps it all up for the all new Mr. Menopause show.
Tafiq Akhir [00:52:32]:
This is the premiere episode on Bold Brave tv. I hope that you got value from what I share today. Again, I'm your host, Tafika Kier. Thank you so much for watching. Thank you for being here. Thank you for those that that have supported me throughout the years and that have followed me here. Let me just say this. You are worth all of the things that you want to get out of a lasting, vital, happy, enjoyable life.
Tafiq Akhir [00:53:01]:
You do not have to struggle and suffer through menopause anymore. I promise you there are resources and tools that can help to minimize, reverse and even eliminate some of your menopause symptoms. And you're going to find out Those things are right here on the Mr. Menopause Show. Again, thank you so much for being here and I'll see you next time right here on Bold Brave TV.
Hope (Announcer) [00:53:27]:
That's it for this episode of the Mr. Menopause show with Taek Ahir. Next week, he's breaking down GLP1, weight loss, drugs and menopause. What works, what to watch for and what most women haven't been told. Catch weekly episodes of the Mr. Menopause show on Bold Brave TV powered by B2 Studios and streaming everywhere. You get your favorite shows. Don't miss it.
Tafiq Akhir [00:53:51]:
Ra.
