5 Menopause Mistakes That Keep Women Confused
===
Tafiq Akhir (Mr. Menopause): [00:00:00] If you've ever felt like menopause has turned your body into a mystery that you can't solve, well, this episode is your invitation to clarity, confidence, and finally feeling back in control again, because let's be honest, most women were never told how, how to actually navigate menopause or what it really was, right?
You were expected to. Figure it out on your own to push through, or worse to stay quiet, but not today and not here. On this episode, I'm exposing the five biggest mistakes that are making menopause harder, more exhausting, and more confusing than it has to be. And I'll also reveal three bonus missteps that could be keeping you stuck.
Even if you're doing all the right things, and yes, we're going to get into this as well. We're gonna talk about why the advice that you've been given may not apply anymore, why your doctor might not actually have menopause training, and why the number on the scale does not tell the whole story, especially during this time of [00:01:00] life.
Welcome to the Mr. Menopause Show.
So today we're going to talk about five of the most common health and hormone mistakes that women unknowingly make before 40. And more importantly, why repeating those same mistakes in menopause can make everything worse. But first, look, I want you to remember something, and this is really important.
This isn't about shame or blame, this is about awareness. Because once you know better, you can do better. And these aren't just common slipups. They're the quiet saboteurs that sneak into your routines and stick around for decades. They're the things that you, you picked up. From diet culture, from hopeful culture, from from misinformation, just things that you were praised for when you were younger.
But in menopause, these same habits can seriously throw your brain, your body, and your emotional health way out of whack. [00:02:00] So I'm gonna break each one down. Not to make you feel bad, but to light the path. Forward with real insight, humor, science, and some lived in wisdom from the women that I've worked with for nearly two decades.
And don't worry, I'm not just handing you problems either. I'm gonna hand you some solutions as well, because you know, that's what I do on the Mr. Menopause Show. Now, let me give you a quick snapshot of what these mistakes are costing you, because this isn't just about habits all, all either, right? It's about real symptoms that you've probably been dealing with.
Day in and day out, and I'm talking unexpected weight gain, energy crashes, mood swings, and symptom flareups. That just won't quit. But here's the good news. Every mistake that I'm talking about today is 100% correctable, and some of the fixes, well, they're easier than you might think. So grab a notebook if you'd like, and let's.
Get into it because thriving through menopause [00:03:00] starts with knowing what no one ever taught you before, but your next breakthrough starts right now. Now, the first mistake, now this is one that keeps far too many women struggling longer than they have to, and that is thinking that your symptoms are just part of aging.
Now, this shows up quietly at first. You start waking up, exhausted your patience, run thin, uh uh, you misplace your keys again, right? Not sleeping well. Your body feels unfamiliar, and somewhere in your mind you risk whisper to yourself. Well, maybe this is just what getting older is, right? That might be one thought.
Or you might think maybe this is just what I have to deal with. Because the reason that you don't ask for help is that right. It's the reason you downplay your symptoms. It's the reason you suffer in silence while trying to hold everything else together. Here's the truth. This isn't just aging, this is hormonal.
Your estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are shifting, sometimes dropping sharply, [00:04:00] sometimes spiking unpredictably, and those changes affect your brain, your mood, your muscles, your skin, your sleeve, your energy, everything. Let me share this real example, right? My client, Elise, powerhouse, entrepreneur, sharp, steady, resilient.
Then suddenly she started forgetting meetings, losing words, men's sentence, and her workouts exhausted her more than ever before, and she just talked it up to aging and burnout. Her doctor said she just needed rest, and she tried, but nothing changed until she learned that she was actually in perimenopause.
And sadly, this story mirrors experiences of. Thousands of women, and it's one of the things that I hear most from women that come to me for help. In fact, according to a study in the Journal of Women's Health, up to 60% of women report menopause symptoms to their doctors, but only 25% actually get effective support or follow up care.
And what this mistake is really costing you is. The [00:05:00] quality of life and your time, right? But once you recognize the difference between aging and hormone imbalance, then you can unlock something powerful and that is relief. And when you understand what's happening, you can start working with your body not against it.
You move out of survival mode and into a space of awareness, action, and support. You know, as Dr. Lisa Moscone, director of the Women's Brain Initiative at Weill Cornell, she says that menopause is not a decline. It's a transition, but you can't navigate it, blindfold it, right? And here's the belief that keeps women stuck the most.
And it's the biggest mistake I think, in this, that if it's just aging, there's nothing that I can do about it because it's not true. So I want to challenge you right now. 'cause aging is a process, but what you are experiencing, well, this is disruption, right? And that's hormone chaos. And, and, and chaos has a cause and a solution.
And once you give it a [00:06:00] name, you can finally stop blaming yourself and you stop feeling ashamed, right? And, and stop accepting suffering as just the way it is because it's not the way it has to be. And if you're watching this right now, I think this somewhere in the back of your mind. You know that. Now, mistake number two is not knowing which stage of menopause you're actually in.
Now, this mistake doesn't show up with flashing lights. It shows up with confusion. Your period changes. Sometimes it's heavier, sometimes lighter, sometimes gone for months, and then suddenly it's back with a vengeance. You're exhausted, but wired. Your mood shifts overnight. You feel things in your body that you can't explain, and yet when you go to your doctor, they tell you you're too young for menopause because you're still having your cycle.
So you leave the doctor's office thinking it's stress or anxiety or just bad luck. Here's the missing link. You are most likely in perimenopause, and that can last anywhere from three to 15 [00:07:00] years, starting as early as 35 for some women. Now, I'll never forget working with a young lady by the name of Carla.
She was a sales rep, and she came to me after months of anxiety, insomnia, crying spells, and the cycle that was all over the place. Her doctor ran standard labs and told her everything was within range, right? But we dove deeper and revealed that she had actually been in perimenopause for two years, facing all the classic symptoms without a single piece of education or support.
But once we helped her understand what was happening at the overwhelm, didn't disappear, but it absolutely became manageable because now she had an understanding and a plan, and this is not unique to Carla. There's no clear milestone, no diagnostic test that can stamp and say, you are here. Right? Most women don't know how to respond, so they either wait it out or treat symptoms in isolation.
Sleeping pills for insomnia, anti-anxiety, meds for mood, and the glass of wine to numb it. All right? Not [00:08:00] knowing your stage means that you're more likely to feel like nothing is working because you're using the wrong tools for the job. Knowing your stage isn't just helpful. It is essential because it tells you what's changing, what to expect, and what kind of support your body actually needs right now.
And it's the difference between throwing darts in the dark and actually hitting the target with clarity. The belief that that keeps this mistake alive is that if I'm still getting a period, it can't be menopause, but here's what I need you to know. Your body doesn't wait for your period to stop before it starts changing.
Perimenopause is just the storm before the stillness. It's the most symptomatic phase, and that's when you need the support, right? And that's when you'll stop thinking that you're crazy and you'll start feeling like you again. Now, mistake number three is focusing on weight instead of health. Now [00:09:00] here's what I hear all the time.
I'm doing everything right and I'm still gaining weight. Another thing I hear is I used to eat this way and stay lean. Now it's not working anymore and the one of the most common is that I feel like I'm losing control of my body and the scale is proof. Well, here's the truth. Menopause related weight gain isn't a sign of failure.
It's a reflection of what's happening inside your body. Hormonal changes affect fat, storage, metabolism, insulin sensitivity, and muscle mass. And when estrogen drops, your body naturally shifts to store more fat, especially around the midsection. But if you're only focusing on the number on your scale, you're missing the full story.
Weight is just one data point. What matters more is muscle mass, bone density, blood sugar regulation, energy, inflammation, and stress, resilience. There was a story in an article I read about a woman named Darla [00:10:00] who was weighing herself daily. Her self-esteem was completely tied to that number, but what the scale didn't show was that she was losing muscle, not just fat.
And she was tired, moody, and constantly frustrated. Once she shifted the focus from shrinking to strengthening, everything changed her labs improved, her energy return. She didn't just look different, she felt capable again. And according to Dr. Reka Kumar, former chief of Clinical nutrition at Weill Cornell, weight loss alone is not a win.
The goal is fat loss, not muscle loss. The goal is strength, not shrinkage. So here's the shift that I want, instead of chasing a number, start asking, am I building muscle? Am I managing blood sugar and stress? Do I feel energized, focused, and strong? See, because that is where health lives and the belief that holds women hostage is that if I can just [00:11:00] lose the weight, everything will get better.
No, because the truth is it's not about being smaller, it's about being stronger for your hormones, for your health. The number on the scale won't fix fatigue, inflammation, or mood swings, but building strength will regulate hormones well. Right. Getting the right support will. That shift from appearance to vitality will, that will be the turning point in every transformation.
It's been the turning point in every transformation I've been a part of. Mistake number four is following generic health advice. Now, let's talk about this for a minute, because I wanna talk about this belief that if I just eat clean, exercise, more sleep, great, that everything will go back to normal right now.
Is that bad advice? No, but it's incomplete because it's. Definitely not customizable for a menopause body. Right? When your hormones are shifting, the rules change. The meal plans you used in your thirties, the workouts you used to, that [00:12:00] used to work, they, they might not be effective because of menopause.
And, and I, another thing I wanted to just be clear about is, um. I want you to know that it is not your body working against you. It's actually you working against your body because you're still trying to hold onto things that is not serving your body at this point in time. It's no longer about calories in versus calories out as it used to be because thi this time it's about hormonal shifts and basically your body is trying to tell you what.
It needs and you're fighting it. Otherwise, you would be losing weight. Otherwise you wouldn't be having poor joint pain. Otherwise you would be be able to balance your stress and to sleep well. But if you're not, then your body is trying to send you signals that you are not doing what is best to serve your body.
Right. And that's what I want you to know because. Uh, actually, listen, there was an article in The Guardian back in 2023, a lady named Joanna shared how, um, she followed every clean, clean eating, uh, uh. [00:13:00] Hit, hit influencer on Instagram, believing that she just had to try harder. Right. Um, and, and that, that, that would be what would help her feel like herself again.
And at 52, she was doing these intense workouts five days a week and eating perfectly, and yet she was gaining belly fat. Felt foggy and couldn't sleep. And, and she said, you know, I started to feel like my body hated me. I thought maybe I was doing it wrong, and I never even imagined my hormones were part of the issue.
But yet she's gaining weight. She's sleeping terribly and starting to resent her body. And why? Because her body needs have changed. During perimenopause and post menopause, cortisol sensitivity increases me, uh, muscle recovery slows down and nutrition needs become more specific and generic advice doesn't account for any of that, and research confirms this.
In fact, a study in in the Journal of Midlife Health found that menopausal women have unique metabolic patterns and require [00:14:00] tailored approaches. To food, fitness and stress management. And here's the limiting belief that I think that drives this mistake, is that if I just work harder and follow what's always worked before that, I'll get the results right?
I mentioned this before, but what worked before menopause doesn't work during it. In fact, it can actually backfire because over training raises cortisol, cutting calories wrecks your energy. Uh, ignoring recovery slows your metabolism. What works now must be designed about what your body needs, what your current biology is, not outdated.
Fitspo tips, right? This isn't about doing more, it's about doing what's right. Now, mistake five is trying to tough it out all alone. Now, this one is deeply personal and emotional for a lot of women, right? And so because those, they just try to tough it out alone because they feel like that's what they're supposed to, but toughing it out alone.
It doesn't just slow your progress, it isolates you. In the Huffington Post's personal essay titled, menopause [00:15:00] Nearly Broke Me. I thought I was going Crazy. Writer Stacey Freeman recounts her experience of juggling parenting, caregiving and work while silently battling fatigue, brain fog, and intense anxiety.
She never told anyone, not even her doctor, because she assumed it was just stress. Her words were, I didn't know. That I could get help. I thought I had to keep pushing through it. I didn't want to be seen as weak. And her story echoes what, what millions of others say, right? Another said, every night I cry in the shower, grieving a version of myself that I no longer recognize.
But here's the truth. Menopause isn't a personal failure to be endured. It's a health transition that deserves support. And according to the 2021 state of menopause study, 73% of women say that they just deal with it because they feel like no one would understand. Even though over 80% report symptoms that impact their daily lives.
See, [00:16:00] when you isolate, you delay. Healing you delay hope, and when you reach out, everything begins to shift though. So here's what I want you to hear. You are not weak for needing help. You are wise for seeking it. Menopause is not meant to be survived in silence. It's meant to be navigated with confidence, community guidance, and real solutions.
Now I wanna move on to our bonus missteps, because these are really important. Now, the first bonus misstep that I think is important is ignoring. The mental and emotional health impacts. So many women come to me, so focused on the physical symptoms, uh, the hot flashes, weight gain, and sleep, but they ignore the emotional ones that are just as real mood swings, anxiety, grief, rage, depression, disconnect.
Sound familiar. These aren't just stress, they're neurochemical reactions to hormone changes, especially the drop in estrogen, which also affects [00:17:00] serotonin and dopamine. And yet most women are never told what's happening in their brain and that, and that is important for them to know this. Right? And a candid New York Times interview.
Author and filmmaker, I think Jennifer Sebel Newsom opened up about her menopause journey. She described unexplained rage, waves of sadness and the fear that something was wrong with her mind. What she learned later was that it wasn't mental illness, it was estrogen decline affecting neural transmitters with education support and hormone therapy.
She said, I could finally think again. I could breathe. But when you ignore emotional health, you disconnect from yourself and you start thinking that you're broken. You're not broken, you're just rewiring. Uh, but, but like any major system update, you need the right support in order to reboot. Now, bonus misstep number two is assuming your doctor knows menopause.
This one is frustrating, but [00:18:00] also should be eye-opening. 'cause many women assume OBGYNs or their general practitioner is trained in menopause care. But the truth is that most medical schools spend less than four hours on menopause education. Some spend none on it at all. So when you hear your labs look.
Spine or it's just stress or you're too young for menopause. It's not always because your doctor doesn't care. It's because they were never taught what to look for. In the Washington Post profile on midlife health gaps, a woman named Dana actually recounted visiting four different providers for brain fog, weight gain, and sleep problems.
Each dismissed her concerns as or prescribed anxiety meds, right? And it wasn't until she found a menopause informed clinician that her hormone levels were tested and her low progesterone explained everything. Within weeks of treatment, she said, I felt like someone finally turned the lights back on in my head.[00:19:00]
So the takeaway here is that your doctor's knowledge gap is not a reason to give up. It's a reason to get empowered. Ask better questions, seek second opinions. Work with certified menopause informed specialists when you can. Now, bonus, missed up number three, and the final one is not tracking what's happening in your body.
If you're not tracking, you are guessing. And when you guess you miss patterns, you lose insight. You delay progress. Tracking doesn't have to be complicated either. You can use a simple journal, a notes app, or a simple tracker, but writing down what you're feeling. Sleep cycles, mood, digestion. It gives you data.
And then the story published by NPR Shots, a woman named Clarissa Explained how tracking her daily symptoms in a journal helped her to realize that her migraines and her sugar cravings peaked at the same point in her rec irregular cycle each month. Now that insight led her to speak with a provider who [00:20:00] specialized in hormone health and helped to provide her with.
With what she needed, right? She discovered an estrogen progesterone imbalance, and that had gone undetected for years, and she said, I never thought that a simple notebook would help me get back my life. That data becomes clarity. That clarity becomes confidence, and that confidence leads to solutions because now you can connect the dots between what your body's telling you and what it needs.
If there's one thing I want you to take from this segment, it's this. Stop pushing through, guessing, or going it alone. Start tracking what's changing question, outdated advice, and know that getting support is not weakness. It is wisdom, and you deserve personalized solutions. Not one size fits all, guesses and all that crap, right?
And that moment that you begin to turn in your body around and you start to see the clarity and you start to see what's really going on, right? And you can start to do the things that your body [00:21:00] actually needs in order to thrive and not. Yes, survive. Again, I'm Taika Ki. Mr. Menopause here your go-to source for reliable menopause and healthy aging support.
And until next time, stay safe and be well. Thanks for.
