5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOUR DOCTOR PT 1
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Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause: [00:00:00] Have you been to your doctor about brain fog, exhaustion, or sudden weight gain, only to be told that it's just part of aging, or to exercise more and eat healthy, or maybe they even handed you a prescription? Well, here's the thing. Nearly 80% of doctors in the US get no true formal training on menopause, and this is why so many women in midlife are being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or told to just deal with it.
Well, I'm dedicated to providing real reliable support to help you master menopause with confidence, clarity, and ease. And in this lesson, I'm gonna be sharing the five crucial questions that you must ask your doctor about menopause, as well as what to do if they can't give you the answers that you deserve.
See, menopause affects every woman, but for far too long it's been treated like a mystery. Ignored in medical schools, dismissed in appointments and downplayed in society. [00:01:00] Well, that ends today because it's extremely important to understand that it's not just a hot flash here or there. This is about your health, your hormones, your heart, your bones, your brains, your relationships, your identity, your life.
And you deserve a doctor who listens to you, not one who rushes you out the door or blames everything on aging or stress. You deserve answers based on real science, not outdated myths, dismissive attitudes, or someone else's one size fits all experience. You deserve to feel healthy, vibrant, and in control of your body at every stage of life, not just when you're young and fert.
And this is an important and timely topic because millions of women are finally demanding better. Look, y'all are tired of suffering in silence, being misdiagnosed or told that this is just part of getting older. And the reality is, as I mentioned, most doctors are still inadequately educated to recognize or even [00:02:00] support menopause.
So asking the right questions and knowing how to advocate for yourself when those answers fall short, well that's not just helpful. It's essential at this point, and that's exactly what this lesson is all about. I'm Tafiq Akhir, Mr. Menopause here and welcome to the Mr. Menopause Show.
What I'm about to teach you can absolutely change how you experience menopause care and possibly even change your doctor if that's something that's truly needed. Let's be honest, most of you, well, all of us really were raised to respect our doctors to take their word as gospel and to never question their authority.
But when it comes to menopause, well, that mindset can leave you struggling in silence, because here's the truth, less than 20% of medical [00:03:00] schools in the US offer menopause specific training. So that means that your doctor might know how to treat high blood pressure. But not hot flashes. They might be experts in managing diabetes, but completely unaware of how menopause affects your brain, bones, mood, or metabolism.
And when you ask this first question, which is what kind of menopause training do you have, you're not being difficult or adversarial, you are being responsible. You're advocating for your body, your health, and your future. Now for a long time, my client, Deanna, felt dismissed and uninformed when it came to her symptoms and like so many women, her doctor wasn't giving her real guidance about what she was experiencing or what her options really were.
But after completing a simple menopause education program, she gained confidence to have an informed conversation with her doctor about hormone replacement therapy, something that she had never felt confident, comfortable, or equipped to do [00:04:00] before. And here's what she shared with me later. She said, after this program, it gave me the confidence to talk to my doctor about HRT.
After two months on estrogen and progesterone, I no longer experience hot flashes and I'm finally able to sleep. I'm also exploring holistic alternatives for my other symptoms, but I feel so much better overall. See, that's the power of knowledge. That's the power of advocating for yourself, and that's what happens when you stop feeling dismissed and you start feeling equipped.
Deanna's story is proof that it's never too late to take control of your menopause journey and to speak up for your needs. And now that you've checked your doctor's menopause training, well it is time to see if their advice actually fits your body and your needs. So we're moving to question two, which is what are the best ways to manage my symptoms based on my medical history?
This one is a game changer because [00:05:00] now that you've asked your doctor about their menopause training, well it is time to dig into something even more important, which is you, your body, your symptoms, your health history, your lived experience, because menopause is not, and I repeat it, is not a one size fits all event.
And if your doctor is handing out the same advice to every woman over 40. That's not support. That is shortcut medicine. And too many women are told things like just eat healthy and exercise, or the two that are so frustrating that I hear is it's just part of aging, or you'll get through it. That kind of generic advice sounds harmless, but it can lead to years of unnecessary suffering in silence because it ignores the bigger picture of who you are, what your body has already been through, and what your body is going through.
You know, I read another story in a business insider about a registered nurse who had more than [00:06:00] 30 years of medical experience, and at 46 she started experiencing escalating anxiety, irregular periods, sleep problems, and a complete loss of confidence. Even as a nurse, someone trained to assess health symptoms.
She couldn't get the right answers and didn't even know what to look for herself for two years, doctor, after doctor misdiagnosed her with depression. It wasn't until she finally came across a menopause informed provider that she was correctly diagnosed and finally supported. Why did it take so long?
Well, because no one stopped to ask the right questions. No one looked beyond the symptoms to understand the context. And look, that leads us to the heart of this question. Are you being treated like a list of symptoms or a whole person? See a doctor who is serious about managing your menopause symptoms effectively?
Well, they should be looking at all the factors that influence your health, not just [00:07:00] handing your a brochure or basic information. So let's break down what they should be addressing. First and foremost, they should start with your full health history, and that includes previous surgeries, autoimmune conditions, reproductive history, and family history.
See, all of this influences what treatments are safe and effective for you. Also past hormone sensitivity. Have you used hormone birth control in the past? How did your body respond to it? Did you have trouble with cycles, PCOS, endometriosis or fertility treatments? See, these are crucial factors in selecting a menopause management plan.
And then there's your mental health background because menopause can exacerbate anxiety, depression, and mood swings. And if your provider isn't considering your emotional and psychological wellbeing during menopause, well, they're only giving you half the picture. And [00:08:00] equally important is sleep quality.
Sleep is a cornerstone of hormone balance, brain function, and emotional health. And if they're not asking about your sleep patterns, how often you wake up, how long it takes to fall asleep, or what's interrupting your rest? Again, they're missing an important opportunity to treat the root issue. Then of course, there is the ever important nutrition, stress, and lifestyle management.
Are they asking about your eating pattern, stress load, physical activity, and recovery time? These factors affect everything from insulin sensitivity to cortisol levels, which can throw off your entire hormonal rhythm, and of course. Medications and supplements. If they're not doing a full inventory of what you're currently taking, they could prescribe something that interacts negatively or overlook a supplement that might already be helping you.
And this is why. The [00:09:00] question is not just what should I do for hot flashes, right? The question is, what should I do for my body, my symptoms, my history, and my life? Because real menopause care is not about managing symptoms in isolation. It's about designing a strategy that supports the whole woman physically, emotionally, and functionally.
Now, once you've confirmed that your doctor understands the full picture of your health, while the next step is to make sure the treatments that they offer are grounded in evidence, not outdated, fear or guesswork. And this leads to the next question, which is, can you explain the risks and benefits of HRT and non-hormonal treatment?
Now that you've talked about how to personalize your menopause care, it's time to get into one of the most misunderstood areas of the entire journey, and that's treatment options and no topics brings more confusion, outdated fear [00:10:00] or misinformation than HRT or hormone replacement therapy. For decades, women have been warned about the risks of HRT often without context current data or considerations of your unique needs.
Meanwhile, non-hormonal alternatives are rarely explained with the same depth either, so that's why this question is so important. Can you explain the risks and benefits of both hormonal and non-hormonal treatment options, not just whether they exist, not with the headline said 20 years ago, but a real nuanced conversation.
And here's the truth. In 2002, the Women's Health Initiative study scared millions of women away from HRT overnight. But what rarely gets mentioned is that the study had major limitations. It included older women already at risk. Information was leaked before the study was concluded, and it was later reevaluated by experts worldwide.
In fact, newer studies show that [00:11:00] HRT can be extremely beneficial if started within 10 years of menopause onset for symptom relief of all kinds, including long-term brain and heart health. But very few providers take the time to explain this. And why? Well, because many haven't kept up with the research themselves or they're still practicing from a place of liability, not empowerment.
And on the flip side, some may avoid HRT altogether and recommend non-hormonal options, but also without giving those treatments the respect they deserve either. So the goal here is to have a well-informed provider that offers balanced care, knowledge and clarity. Look, you have the right to understand what's available, how each option works, and how it might affect your unique body based on your risk factors, your preferences, and your goals.
For example, HRT might be highly effective for someone with hot flashes, night sweats, or vaginal dryness who has [00:12:00] no history of breast cancer. While a non-hormonal option like low dose SS or RISE or SNRIs might be more appropriate for someone with a history of hormone sensitive conditions. CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy, nutrition, exercise, and stress management can all support symptom relief regardless of which route you choose.
A well-informed doctor should be able to walk you through all of this, not just hand you a prescription or dismiss your interest in HRT altogether. You want someone who can answer what are the real risks? What are the potential benefits, and how will this affect me? Specifically because managing menopause should not feel like gambling.
It should feel like you making an empowered, educated decision about your body and your overall health, and now that you've opened the door to real treatment conversations, it is time to look ahead because menopause doesn't just affect today. It [00:13:00] impacts your future health as well. And that leads to the next question.
How can we protect my bone, heart and brain health during menopause? This question is another big one because while most conversations about menopause stop at hot flashes, the mood swings. The real risks lie in what's happening beneath the surface. Menopause marks a major shift in your body's internal chemistry, and when estrogen levels drop, your bones become more fragile.
Your heart is more vulnerable, and your brain is more susceptible to decline. And yet most doctors don't even mention it. And that's why this question is crucial. You're not just asking about relief for today, you're asking about protection for tomorrow. Let's start with your bones, right? Because after menopause, you can lose up to 20% of your bone density in the first five to seven.
That's how fast things can change. Osteoporosis becomes a real risk, especially if you're not doing [00:14:00] regular weight-bearing exercise, getting enough calcium or checking your vitamin D levels. Next, your heart estrogen plays a major role in creeping your blood vessels flexible and your cholesterol levels balanced.
Without it, your risk of cardiovascular disease raises significantly, especially if you've already have high blood pressure, diabetes, or a family history of heart issues. And let's not forget your brain. Cognitive changes, brain fog, memory lapses. Well, these aren't just annoying. They can be early warning signs of hormonal impact on your brain structure and function.
So what's the plan now that it's decreasing? See, when you ask your doctor, how can we protect my bone, heart and brain health during menopause? Well, you're taking the conversation out of the exam room checklist and into whole body wellness. See, you're asking for a bone density scan, not [00:15:00] just the vitamin recommendation.
You want a full metabolic panel, not just everything looks fine. You want a cognitive health discussion, not just, you're probably just tired. You're advocating for long-term health and vitality, and that deserves serious answers. And then that brings us to the final question. And it's all about the big picture, right?
Because while symptom relief is crucial, what you really need is a roadmap. And that lands on the fifth and final question, which is, can we create a long-term plan for my menopause journey? This is the question that brings everything full circle. You've asked about your doctor's training. You've explored how they tailor care to you.
You've investigated treatments and addressed long-term health risks. Well, now comes the most powerful ask of all. Can we create a long-term plan for my menopause journey? Not just what do I do today, but [00:16:00] how will I be supported through every stage, mentally, physically, emotionally, and practically too many providers treat menopause like a six month inconvenience instead of the decades long life stage.
It really is, and here's what that ends up leading to. Women getting short term fixes without long term support. Bouncing between specialists with no unified care plan, feeling alone, confused, and constantly playing catch up with their own health. But when a doctor is willing to partner with you for the long haul, well that changes everything because a long-term menopause plan might include.
Regular check-ins and symptom reviews. Also adjusting treatments over time as your needs evolve, and they will evolve, by the way, monitoring hormone levels, bone density, mental health, and so much more, as well as clear communication about what's normal, what's not, and what [00:17:00] comes next. Most importantly, it should feel collaborative, not dismissive.
You should leave that appointment feeling like you have a partner. Not just a prescriber, because menopause isn't just a phase, it's a portal into the next chapter of your life. And that chapter deserves to be written with intention, support, and empowerment. And now that we've covered the five critical questions that you should be asking your doctor about menopause, let me break down what to do if your doctor can't answer those questions.
Or worse if they dismiss you for asking in the first place. Tune in next week for part two. What to do if your doctor can't answer the five crucial questions that you learned about today. Once again, I'm Tafiq Akhir. Mr. Menopause here your go-to source for reliable menopause and healthy aging support. And until next time, please stay safe and be [00:18:00] well.
