Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:00:00]:
Now, I know hot flashes get all the attention, but here's the truth. The real story of menopause is what happens in your mind. The brain fog that makes you forget simple things. The mood swings that leave you feeling unlike yourself. The anxiety, the sleepless nights, even the sudden dip in confidence that can shake how you feel about who you are. See, these shifts can be as disruptive as hot flash, sometimes even more. Yet they are rarely connected to menopause. While you are not broken, you are not losing your mind either.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:00:34]:
You are in a stage of life that deserves respect, care, and strategies that actually work. I'm Tafi Kakir, Mr. Menopause here, and in today's episode, I am shining a light on your mental and emotional health during menopause. And together, we're going to unpack why these changes happen. And more importantly, I'm going to share mindset resets, confidence building tools, and reduction strategies that can help you feel clear, calm, and back in control. Welcome to the Mr. Menopause Show. You are not broken.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:01:19]:
You are not losing your mind. You are in a stage of life that deserves respect and a plan that's built for you. Menopause is not just about your ovaries. It's about your whole body. And one of the biggest areas that it impacts is your brain. Now, here's what you need to understand, though. Hormones like estrogen and progesterone, well, they don't just regulate your cycle. They're also key messengers in your brain.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:01:44]:
They help nerve cells talk to each other. They protect pathways that keep your memory sharp and influence how your mood and focus feel day to day. When these hormones begin to fluctuate and decline, it's kind of like the wifi connection in your brain starts to cut in and out. The signal isn't gone, but it gets weaker, slower, and sometimes frustratingly unreliable. That is why so many women describe brain fog as struggling to find words, forgetting why they walked into a room, or feeling like their sharp, quick mind essentially suddenly buffering in slow motion. And look, it's not just memory. Anxiety levels can suddenly spike even in women who never considered themselves anxious before. You might feel restless, like your mind cannot stop racing, or even have full blown panic attacks that seem to come out of nowhere.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:02:37]:
Then of course, there's mood swings, right? One moment you feel fine, the next you're snapping at a loved one, you're tearing up during a commercial, or thinking, feeling emotionally flat. These changes are not character flaws either. They are chemical shifts in your brain responding to the hormonal rollercoaster of Menopause but here's the problem. Most women are never even told that these symptoms are connected to menopause. Instead, you're told that it's stress or aging, or that you need to relax, get more sleep, or just deal with it. Imagine how isolating that feels to be be going through all of these changes in your mind and emotions while being told that it's just life. It's no wonder so many women start to lose confidence in themselves. And loss of confidence is one of the most painful and least discussed parts of menopause.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:03:28]:
A woman who once led boardrooms with ease might second guess every decision. Someone who used to juggle family, career and community effortlessly might sleep, suddenly feel she is barely keeping it together. Even your identity can shift the roles that defined you for decades. Mom, partner, professional caregiver can feel different now and without a roadmap that shakes your sense of who you are. So let me pause here and say this. You're not alone, and there is nothing about what you're experiencing that means that you are weak. These changes are common. They are real, and they deserve validation and and solutions.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:04:08]:
And here's a truth you will rarely hear in a doctor's office. The brain is one of the biggest targets of menopause. In fact, researchers have shown that estrogen directly affects the hippocampus, which is the part of the brain that controls memory and learning, as well as the amygdala, which helps to regulate fear and anxiety. That means declining estrogen can literally rewire how your brain processes stress and emotions. Add disrupted sleep from night sweats or cortisol spikes, and your brain ends up running on fumes. That's why mental and emotional symptoms can feel so disruptive and even more disruptive than the physical ones. I know that some of you may be thinking, but my doctor never mentioned menopause when I told them I was struggling with brain fog or depression. And unfortunately, that is the reality.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:04:59]:
Most doctors receive less than 44 hours of menopause education in their entire training. 4 hours to cover a life stage that can last decades for women. So when you walk into the office with anxiety, brain fog, or mood swings, they may prescribe an antidepressant or send you to a therapist without ever addressing menopause. That does not mean that therapy or medication can't be helpful. They can. Absolutely. But if no one connects the dots between your mental health and your menopause, well, then you're left feeling confused, dismissed and unsupported, maybe even misdiagnosed. And that is not acceptable.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:05:38]:
And don't get me started on all the myths floating around that just make everything even harder. And here are three that I hear all the time that I want to bust right now. Myth one is that brain fog means that you're getting dementia. False. Brain fog in menopause is linked to hormonal fluctuations and is often reversible with the right support. Myth two, anxiety or mood swings mean you're weak. Again, false. These are biological responses to hormone changes and stress load, not a reflection of your strength or resilience.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:06:12]:
Myth three is that nothing can be done and you just have to deal with it. Absolutely not. There are medical, holistic and lifestyle strategies that can help you regain clarity, calm and confidence. And this is why conversations like this are so important. Because once you understand what's happening inside your body and your brain, you can stop blaming yourself and you can start making choices that actually work for you. So as we move forward, in today's episode, I am going to walk you through three key areas. One is mindset resets, where I'm going to cover how to shift your perspective so that you stop blaming yourself and you start building more momentum. Two is confidence building tools like simple practices that retrain your brain to see your strength and restores self trust.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:07:04]:
And three is stress reduction strategies, including practical science backed techniques that you can use anytime, anywhere to calm your nervous system. And because I want you to have a complete picture, I'm going to also share what you need to know about medical options, the pros, the cons, and how to decide what's right for you. The bottom line is this. Menopause is not just a physical transition. It's the mental and emotional one as well. And when you have the right tools, strategies and support, you can navigate this season with clarity, confidence and calm. And that is exactly what we're going to cover next. Now that you have a basic understanding of the mental and emotional side of menopause, let's talk about the role that medical and therapeutic support can play.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:07:58]:
And this is an area that creates a lot of confusion because so many women are either told medication is their only option, or on the other extreme, they're told to avoid it altogether. And the truth is that medical options can be incredibly helpful, but only when they're tailored to you and grounded in menopause informed care. Now, let's start with the holistic and complementary approaches, because they are often the first, first step that many women turn to. And when used consistently, they can make a powerful difference. Acupuncture Is one of the most underrated and effective tools, and I consider a Mr. Menopause approved practice. You know, I remember a client telling me I thought acupuncture was nonsense until I was desperate enough to try it. She said that by her third session, she was sleeping through the night for the first time in years and that she didn't feel like she was jumping out of her skin skin anymore.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:08:53]:
And that kind of transformation is exactly what emerging research is beginning to confirm as well. Studies show that acupuncture can reduce hot flashes, improve sleep, lower cortisol, and regulate your mood. But what matters most is how women feel in their daily lives. Imagine waking up five nights a week drenched in sweat, exhausted and anxious, and then finally feeling steady palm and able to think clearly after just a few weeks of treatment. That's not placebo. That's nervous system support in action. Alongside acupuncture, mindfulness practices like meditation and yoga. Directly lower cortisol, which is your body's main stress hormone.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:09:36]:
Lower cortisol means fewer anxiety spikes, steadier moods, and clearer focus. One woman told me. She said even 10 minutes of breathing practice in the morning changed how I interacted with my family or all day. And those ripple effects really do matter. And then there's cognitive behavioral therapy, or cbt, which has also been proven time and time again to help with insomnia, anxiety, and depression during menopause. And it isn't about thinking positive, simply right. It gives you practical strategies to break negative cycles and reframe unhelpful thoughts. Now, the benefits of holistic practices is that they are safe, empowering, and accessible.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:10:19]:
The drawback is that they require consistency, and results build gradually. But when practiced regularly, the impact is long lasting and profound. Look, sometimes holistic approaches aren't enough. And that's when non hormonal medications can step in as an important option. I had a client, and let's just call her Mary. And she suffered from night sweats that were so severe that she barely slept and panic attacks that seemed to come out of nowhere. And because of her family history, she couldn't take hormone therapy. Her doctor prescribed a low dose ssri, and within weeks, her hot flashes were cut in half and her panic attacks became less frequent.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:11:00]:
She told me, I finally feel like I have my life back. The medication gave me the space to actually use the breathing and mindful tools that I learned from you. Well, non hormonal medications can include SSRIs, SNRIs, which can stabilize mood and reduce hot flashes. There's gabapentin, originally for nerve pain, which has been shown to reduce night sweats and improve sleep as well. And then clonidine, often used for blood pressure, can help to reduce hot flashes and sometimes ease anxiety. Although this one is not prescribed as often for menopause anymore, now the pros are real relief, especially for women who cannot or choose not to take hormones. The cons are potential side effects like dizziness, weight changes or fatigue. And too often these medications are prescribed without any explanation of how they connect to menopause.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:11:53]:
Women end up thinking that they're being treated for depression, when in reality their menopause symptoms are being managed just without the name being spoken. And that lack of communication is what leaves so many women feeling dismissed. The key is understanding that non hormonal medications can be effective when they're part of a comprehensive menopause informed plan and not just a one size fits all fix. And then there's hormone replacement therapy, the most studied and for many women, the most effective option for menopause symptoms. One client described it this way. I didn't realize how much of myself I had lost until the day I woke up on HRT and I thought, there I am again. That moment of clarity, that return to self is why so many women describe HRT as life changing. HRT improves sleep, reduces anxiety, stabilizes mood, and clears brain fog.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:12:51]:
And beyond mental health. It protects bone density, supports cardiovascular health, vaginal health, and promotes cognitive function when prescribed appropriately. But HRT is not without important considerations. Women with certain health histories, such as hormone sensitive cancers or clotting disorders, may need to avoid it. And it's never one size fits all. There's pills, patches, gels and rings, and they all deliver hormones differently. And the right choice depends on your health profile and lifestyle. That's why it's essential to work with a menopause informed provider who personalizes treatment rather than handing out standard prescriptions.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:13:34]:
The bottom line is simple. Menopause care is not one size fits all. It's your body, your choice, your strategy. So now you can see the full spectrum of treatments available. From acupuncture and holistic practices to non hormonal medications and hormone therapy. There are many ways to find relief and restore balance. The key is understanding your options and choosing what feels right for you instead of being forced into a single approach. But here's the truth.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:14:07]:
Even with the best medical care, the biggest changes often come from what you do in your daily life. The tools you practice consistently are what rebuild your confidence, what sharpen your focus and help you feel steady. Again. So, up next, I'm going to share some simple but powerful confidence building and stress reduction tools that you can start using today. Now that you understand the spectrum of treatment options, let's shift into the tools that you can start using today to rebuild your confidence and reduce stress. Because here's the truth. Even with medical care, the biggest shifts often happen through the consistent steps that you take for yourself now. One of the most common struggles that women share with me during menopause is the loss of confidence.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:14:59]:
I hear things like, I used to be so sharp and now I second guess myself constantly, or even I feel like I've lost my spark. And then of course, there's I don't even recognize myself anymore. And when you add stress, anxiety and brain fog to the mix, it's no wonder women feel shaken. But confidence isn't gone forever. It can be rebuilt. Stress can be managed. And the tools I'm about to share will help you do both. Tool number one is the Daily Win List.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:15:30]:
Each night, write down three wins from your day. They don't have to be big either. They can be small. Actually, smaller the better. It could be I took a 10 minute walk or I made time for a balanced meal today, or I spoke up in a meeting even though I was nervous, one woman I work with told me. At first I thought this was silly, but after a week, I realized I was accomplishing far more than I gave myself credit for. Seeing it on paper reminded me that I'm still capable, even on my hardest days. And here's why this matters.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:16:04]:
Because during menopause, your brain is more likely to fixate on what went wrong. The things you forgot, the tasks left undone, the moments where anxiety got the best of you. The daily Win list retrains your mind to notice progress instead of problems. And each time that you record a window, you're building evidence that you can still trust yourself, that self trust is the foundation of confidence. Tool number two is the Clarity Prompt. Each morning, ask yourself one simple question. What is one action I can take today that will make everything else easier? Write it down and do it first. Brain fog and overwhelm are some of the most disruptive symptoms of menopause.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:16:47]:
So when your thoughts feel scattered, even small tasks can feel overwhelming. The Clarity prompt cuts through the noise. Your brain doesn't love chaos, it loves clarity. A woman in one of my programs told me before I used the prompt, I felt paralyzed by my endless to do list. Once I chose one clear action each day, I started ending my days with a sense of Accomplishment instead of guilt. This tool works because clarity builds momentum and momentum rebuilds confidence. Tool three is the Energy Audit. Draw two columns on a piece of paper.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:17:24]:
One side write down everything that gives you energy and on the other, everything that drains it. Then each week choose one drainer to reduce and one booster to increase. One of my clients realized that late night emails was draining her more than anything else. And what gave her energy was walking her dog in the morning. So she set a boundary. No emails after 8pm and a daily morning walk with the dog. Within weeks, she told me, I feel lighter, calmer, and far more in control. Confidence grows when you shape your environment instead of being consumed by it.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:18:00]:
Tool 4 is the anchor breath. When stress or self doubt creeps in, use this quick reset. Inhale slowly for four counts and exhale with a big sigh and relax your shoulders and repeat that five times. This practice activates the vagus nerve, calming your body's stress response. One woman used it before an important meeting and later said, for the first time in months, my voice didn't shake. I felt steady again. See, your breath is the reset button that your body always carries and listens to. Tool 5 is the name and reframe when anxiety or self doubt hits.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:18:42]:
Name it. Say this is anxiety or this is self doubt. And then reframe it by asking, what is one small action I can take right now to move forward? One client said, I used to lose whole afternoons from panic. Now I stop, name it and take one small action. I get back on track so much faster. See, naming reduces the power of the emotion. Reframing gives your brain a path forward. Together, they transform spirals into solutions.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:19:14]:
And then tool 6 is the mirror reminder. Each morning, look at yourself in the mirror and affirm one thing you value about yourself. Not about your looks, but about your strength, your kindness, your persistence, or even your resilience. Right at first, this may feel awkward, but neuroscience shows affirmations activate the brain's reward centers and over time creates new pathways that reinforce self belief. You know, one woman said to me, I rolled my eyes the first time I tried this, but now I actually believe it when I say it. I am capable. The mirror reminder is about reclaiming your identity and proving to yourself that menopause cannot take away your worth. Now, these tools are not about pretending that menopause is easy.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:20:02]:
They're about giving yourself daily proof that you are capable, resilient, and most importantly, moving forward. Confidence is self trust. Stress management is self regulation. And together they are what help you to move through this season with more calm, more clarity, and more strength. Now, if you found today's episode helpful, share it with a friend who needs this message too. And please subscribe because Changing the menopause story starts with conversations like these. And if you are ready to take the next step, start with my complimentary Menopause Clarity quiz to see where you are on your journey and what kind of support will help you most. You'll find the link in the show notes or the bio for this episode.
Tafiq Akhir aka Mr. Menopause [00:20:48]:
Thank you so much for watching. And remember, you are capable, you are resilient, and you are not alone. Until next time, stay safe and be well.
